1. I cant believe he hasnt even sent me one text, or made one call to see how Im coping? But even if I were to convince her to come back to me, I wouldnt be able to live with myself as being a servant to her. No Contact Rule: Female Psychology When you're the one who was dumped, the no contact rule has the same capacity to tempt your partner back whether they're a man or a woman. No, a female dumper won't always come back. Dont delete your ex from social media though. Some would also say they have moved on but will prove themselves wrong once they have broken the no contact rule. Of course, a guy often doesnt realize that, so he just cuts off contact and hopes that it works to make his ex woman miss him like crazy and want him back. When it comes to no contact rule male psychology, there's three important things you need to remember about the masculine perspective: Men generally prefer to KEEP women in their life to some degree - especially so if she doesn't ask much of him. It takes a really mature individual whos done a lot of soul-searching to fight against her inclinations and essentially realize how the breakup is affecting her. Even if you feel better or youve completely moved on do not reach out to your ex! is different from what the dumpee has to go through during the phase. I think a lot of their behavior is self-fulfilling prophecy. This way, they will stop telling you anything about your ex, and they wont insist that you come to events where you could potentially meet your former partner. You will likely desire your ex-girlfriends attention even more because she obviously wants less of yours. Admittingly, its not ideal, but at the end of the day, I think its the only real option. You wont deliberately attract her back by picking up the phone and tell her everything you were able to achieve. However, compared to thepsychology of no contact on male dumper, women recover faster and come out stronger. Youve reached this far. She will then naturally feel as though she can no longer trust you, because youve been trying to manipulate her in that way. It wont work that way. Unfollow your ex on social media and prevent yourself from receiving any information about her. anger, annoyance, contempt), that she doesnt feel bad about hurting him emotionally by saying, Why are you contacting me? It defeats the purpose of the process if you are only doing this because you want to be missed. If you succeed in. This could be part of the psychology of no contact on a female dumper, where they want to know how you are doing after they dumped you. You had hoped that if you just show your ex-girlfriend how much you care about her that she would give you another chance and you would both live happily ever after. You can now contact your ex and see where it leads. Most guys will never discover this secret and as a result, they miss out on getting their ex woman back. Whereas a male feels free and careless at the beginning of No Contact. Well, he should contact me by now right?, 4. If you succeed in getting back with an ex because youve made them miss you, the relationship will likely fail. Please accept that and move on.. , women like to be pursued. So, if you want your ex back and she reaches out to you, dont make the mistake of ignoring her attempts to communicate with you in the hope that it will make her miss you and want you more. Then, when he finally contacts his ex after 30 or 60 days and she sees that hes still stuck at the same level he was at when she broke up with him (e.g. She contacted me! I'm going to take that situation and reverse engineer the process so you can understand what's going on in an ex's brain, and also figure out how to give this remorse a good chance of growing. It might make you want to break the rule, throw away all concepts about thepsychology of no contact on dumper, and initiate the contact. So most women, when they had a breakup, they don't care about their ex-boyfriends anymore. Some of the things you can improve include: Once youve done all of those things, you will know youre ready to attract your ex-girlfriend back into your life. This is a common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession. If a woman has broken up with you, depending on the reasons that lead her to break up, they will come back or not. This is a common mistake many people make until it becomes an obsession. This is especially true if she has the brains to check out online posts or videos about how guys try to get an ex girl back. If you are, Ill tell you a little secret. Think deep and hard and find out why you felt inclined to act in such impulsive ways toward your ex-girlfriend. because youve made them miss you, the relationship will likely fail. You might want to find out if they are seeing someone new. On the other hand, if you ignore her before you reactivate her feelings for you, shes just not going to care that youre no longer contacting her. Youve reached this far. Meanwhile, her ex is sitting around missing her and hoping that by cutting off contact, she will do all the work by coming running back to him and asking for another chance. Another possible psychological reaction a woman might have to No Contact from you is. She questioned herself whether what she did was bad? If you come across comments that oppose the indefinite no contact rule and youre starting to doubt no contact with your ex-girlfriend, Im here to tell you the truth. A lot of people voluntarily neglect this important part even though its so important for the dumpees. After everything he put me through, he doesnt even have the decency to call and see how Im doing. So, if you want your ex back for real, forget the mind games (i.e. You dont have to like it and you dont have to love it. Your ex focused on the bad stuff in the relationship and because of it, fell out of love and became resentful. The female mind during the no contact rule. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I would really appreciate it if you come back and share your no contact story in the future because it will be a success regardless of whether you get her back or not. You may wonder why your ex is not initiating contact despite the existence of the rule. It's very important to watch the video above all the way through and then to read this post to the end. Focus on positive thinking and learn to live in the present; Women and men indeed go through the break up in the same way but it is pretty difficult to put the pieces of the puzzle what he/she is feeling for the moment. So, when you completely stop contacting her and dont even send her the occasional text to say Hi, or to check how shes doing, she might assume that youre using the No Contact Rule on her to hopefully make her miss you and come running back. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window). So when you allow her to be free, you in essence regain the respect your ex has lost for you. Using reverse psychology on a woman (i.e. Keep in mind that there are no quick remedies to attracting your ex back, so pay close attention to how you can and must attract your ex-girlfriend back so that you may have another chance if she comes back. If you do not contact your ex post break up for 60 days, there is a high possibility that your ex will come back to you. Self-control is strength. When stress decreased, she could then cope again, so she blocked you again. Haha! It aims to help anyone going through hardships in relationships find peace and move forward with their lives. Are Dumpers Afraid To Contact Their Dumpees? Now she is not the same as she was when you first broke up with her! Here are thestages of no contactthat a dumper usually goes through: , you might feel relieved once you have achieved it. They must do so because the dumpers issues are way beyond their control. Now that even you and your female ex go through the same stages of no contact but the difference lies at the beginning of the whole process. Theno contact rule psychologyis not about making your ex miss you so that they will make the first move. The second rule of no contact is to use it the way its meant to be used and not half-way. Please complete this quick form to gain instant access. However, if you beg and plead your ex-girlfriend to take you back for weeks and months, thats another story. Following the strictest no contact rule and letting go of your ex is no easy task. via social media, through friends). People have a tendency to forget and undervalue others very quickly when the relationship comes to an end. It could be because the relationship was no longer healthy, you and your ex were pulling each other down, or it has become an abusive setup. In fact, his silence has just made it that much easier for me to fully get over him and move on starting right now!. And if it doesnt ever work, you will be so thankful that you went no contact with your ex-girlfriend and saved face. I Think My Ex Wants Me Back, But She Has a Boyfriend. Well, I havent heard from her in a month. I better call him right away before I lose him forever, shell usually feel relieved instead that the break up turned out to be so easy. for males is challenging, but they have to stick to it to make it work. Since youre reading this article, I assume youre a man. Menu Am I just being emotional now cuz the breakup get you ll done, 5. Additionally, if she is able to find a replacement guy (or guys) quite easily, then she isnt going to care if her ex (that she is no longer attracted to anyway) isnt contacting her. Youre not playing mind games on her. They follow the rules of no contact down to the T. and promptly begin to look for answers the answers to improve as people which could, in essence, bring their ex-girlfriend back. He has helped men from all over the world to get a woman back and he can help you too. Every day you spend in no contact, you spend improving and healing. , you have to give yourself and your partner time to look after yourselves separately while ensuring that you keep your distance. This is just another thing to add to my list of reasons for breaking up with him. You can wait a little longer to finish allstages of no contactrule. So did my ex. Dumper's remorse is a situation where your ex breaks up with you and a few months afterwards, they regret their decision. If she feels that she has done everything to salvage the relationship then the chances that NC is going to work are lower than when the woman initiates the breaking up process to figure things out. When you stop giving her attention thats when you gain her attention. Will he give me the chance to approach again? really hurting. Your ex is asking about you. Well, Im glad I dumped him. She asked for space, but then said shes treating it as a breakup, but could see us working out because she still loves me? Since she is the one that dumped you. Your email address will not be published. Every man I coach believes that if he just had one more chance, he could correct all his mistakes and make things right with his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife or ex-fiance. So dont try to go against her will. If nothing else, you will at least eventually regain the respect youd lost from your ex. The No Contact Rule is the best!. No matter your reason for wanting to break free from the relationship, you might feel relieved once you have achieved it. What do psychologists say about the no contact rule? Remember: If you want your ex back, use the time that youre not contacting her to improve your ability to attract her (i.e. It has already been very hard. But from my understanding, the psychology behind no contact works like this; When you get broken up with by your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, you have a responsibility to retain your value as a person and a partner. No Contact) and focus on re-attracting her now, so she has a reason to get back with you now. BTW: It works great for women who want to get a man back, but it doesnt work the same way for men who want to get a woman back. . Kids change. Really lame denial and enabling. Coach Lee explains the psychology of the no contact rule on a dumper (your ex) after a breakup. You have to use this time to get your mind thinking properly. Stop overthinking about thedumper and dumpee psychology. So, before you decide whether or not to use the No Contact Rule on your ex woman, take a moment to understand where other guys mess up when using it. We are both about to turn 68. Sexual and romantic attraction is what makes a woman want to be together and stay together. Yet, in almost all cases, this plan of attack backfires. By that stage she will be so desperate to get me back, that she will be the one begging me to take her back. Theno contact after breakup psychologywill only work if both parties commit to it. Adjust it to the length of your relationship (it can be a few days, weeks, or months). Why Is The Dumper Silent After A Breakup? Sounds like most of her siblings were pretty messed up, at least one w/ drugs who did jail time. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me after two years of living together. We do, however, know that somebody has an important lesson to teach your ex-girlfriend. If she doesnt reach out, shes just wasting your time. Unless a woman is still secretly in love with her ex and is hoping that they will eventually get back together again, shes almost certainly not going to care if he doesnt contact her and try to get her back. With the internet available to almost everyone these days via smartphones, all a woman has to do is search online and she will see that pretty much everyone says not to contact your ex after a break up to get her back. There truly is no better way to get her back if you pleaded. The, psychology of no contact on female dumper. Hiding her from view is enough (provided you have the determination not to look at her posts, of course). It is difficult, but you will only benefit from the. Avail years best deals on our marriage courses! There will be times when you want to reach out to an ex and beg to get back together. To begin with, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it's usually because she has lost respect and attraction for him over time. You have to accept no matter what the other persons decision would be. Psychology of the No Contact Rule for Dumpers, Men, and Women. The rest is on her. In life, smart people learn from their mistakes. The only difference between the two genders is that women tend to come back often for security when men come back for ego purposes. You are merely giving her the space and time to reach out on her own terms. Once she breaks up with you, you have no choice but to go no contactboth for yourself and her. If you are, then watch this free video by Dan to discover the secret to getting her back FAST. more emotionally independent, confident, assertive, not easily swayed by others), shes just going to continue moving on. Reaching out to her prematurely oftentimes means bad news. Whether you held her hand or watched the sunset together, those flashbacks will be present in her mind. Yet, rather than doing that, he instead decides to use the No Contact Rule and ends up totally ignoring her for 30 to 60 days. Most women go through a difficult period of emotional anguish following a breakup. more than 7 days), the more likely she will assume hes playing mind games with her. I had quit my really good job a year back to write a book, and I finished that book, but after, I didnt have any new goals, and so I became cranky for about four months. No matter what you think, dont. If she notices that its pretty much all about cutting off contact, then she might decide to make herself feel better by hooking up with a new guy and moving on, rather than sitting around and potentially missing her ex. If a woman isnt sexually and romantically attracted to a guy, she isnt going to be in love with him. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. After several days, a couple of weeks, or months, it depends onhow the dumper feels during no contactrule; you will start getting curious. She will seek ways to know why you havent contacted him yet. When I got my new job, I sent her a long email saying now that Im working we should try to make it work again. Havent you moved on already? Im sorry.. He feels unbothered, free, and independent When you start to use the No Contact rule with a dumper, during the first days he feels free and independent. This way, they'll be still around. Id say its one of the most important skills in life. Ive met someone else and Im happy. I cant stress the importance of this enough. I have treated her little kids like gold and they love me. Focus on yourself more, pick a hobby, visit new places, meet new people; 3. You have to improve your ability to attract her, so when you interact with her, you are able to talk to her in a way that creates sparks of sexual and romantic attraction. Most women go through a difficult period of emotional anguish following a breakup. I have nothing to gain by deceiving youas I believe in karma. As no contact begins, the chances are that your ex is feeling quite upset. and beg to get back together. I wonder why hes being so silent all of a sudden? but if she believes that he cant change and become the kind of man she needs him to be (e.g. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. How can you use it properly and how do you know that is working? Required fields are marked *. What Happens When You Ignore A Breadcrumber? Understand that each woman responds differently to No Contact. Is this the best thing to do and why do you think she finally unblocked me at all? They're convinced that breaking up was the right thing to do, so they need to enjoy their new life for a while, get into trouble, and be proven wrong. I see some people saying how following the no contact rule with your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is a weak move because its The cowards way out.. They'll be transitioning to an . There are only two things you should consider when a woman breaks up with you and youre following no contact. Here 4 possible psychological reactions a woman might have, if you use No Contact (i.e. by Relationships expert, author, podcaster, and speaker, Natalie Lue. Could this mean hes over me? You had a window of opportunity to get me back, but you wasted that time ignoring me. Please note that some processing of your personal data may not require your consent, but you have a right to object to such processing. And thats the foundation for attraction to develop. If you're a man reading this, you can expect the no contact rule to work on most women too. She will feel great to receive your unconditional love when she deserves it the least. So if youve done those bad things (or worse) and youre wondering whether no contact works on women or a specific girl, you first need to take a step back and ponder about your actions. 5 Benefits, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, According to Zodiac Signs: the 3 Best Women to Marry, How To Connect With A Man On An Emotional Level, The Role of Romance in a Relationship and its Importance, How Important Is Intimacy in a Relationship, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. Oh he is just acting mad to make me miss him more, 3. When you decide to reach her out, she is all-powerful and nourished. I thought about showing up to our apartment, using the excuse that my stuff is still there, which about half of it is, but then I thought how crazy I was acting. It is helpful to understand what happens during no contact in the female mind. You'll learn how the no contact rule affects your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend after he/she broke up with you. Once shes curious enough and perhaps dates a few other men, she will face reality. If you do that and apologize to your ex, youll only emphasize your impulsiveness and solidify your exs decision for leaving you. As difficult as it is to hear this, please dont break no contact with your ex-girlfriend. This is an important video if you are wanting to know how the no contact rule psychologically affects your ex and if it can help the two of you reunite. Ive been such an idiot, sitting here hoping that he would actually do something to get me back. The people in your circle need to know. When a man uses the NC rule on a woman who isnt attracted to him anymore, she usually just moves on. It's only available here. You cut all ties with them no phone calls or text messages with their friends and family members. In your exs eyes, you simply remain as the broken-hearted dumpee. The no contact rule is also a respectful gesture toward your ex because youre telling her that you respect her decision. Either her next dating candidate will be someone she can create a life with or she wont. 4 common mistakes that guys make when using the No Contact Rule, are. I have noticed that every man wanting to get back together with his ex-girlfriend would do anything to get his ex back. This is often the hardest among allphases of no contact. Any chance he might have had with me is gone now. This phenomenon occurs naturally due to the breakup pain. They just moved on, and they're ready for the next relationship. 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